I awoke suddenly to the sound of banging on my apartment door. I rushed to the door and checked the peep hole. "SHIT!" I said under my breath. It was her; out of nowhere.
"Open the fuck up you bastard!" she yelled. "I know you're in there". I opened the door.
"Can I help you?" I asked.
"Yeah!" she yelled, "you can tell me why the fuck all my cards were declined when I went to buy gas today; you piece of shit".
"Now now" I said with a calm bravado, "you didn't think you could leave me just like that without so much as a reason; did you? Or did you forget I own your ass?"
"You fucking psycho."
"tisk, tisk, tisk," I interrupted, "that's no way to treat the only person in the world that can fix this now is it?"
"I demand you tell me what you've done this instant!" She screamed at me.
"Nothing short of erasing your complete existence off of the face of the earth." I said with a smug expression on my face.